Fair warning, it’s entirely possible that I am about to offend you. If I do, I want you to take a moment to really think about why you’re offended. Seriously.
I’ve written blogs before about friendship and fondness and even love within the hypno-fetish scene. Not here though, and so it seems worthwhile revisiting the subject. It’s one of the things I sincerely hate hearing from listeners, that frustrating refrain of ‘I want to be your friend!’ or any variation thereof. Not because I hate having friends or because friendship sucks (my bronies know that it’s magical). But because it’s such a giant can of worms to open up in the realm of professional domination.
Usually my first thought when I read or hear ‘I want to be your friend’ is ‘Dude, what do you think my actual friendships look like?’ Seriously, do you imagine that I spend time with my friends dressed up in leather and playing with their naughty bits? O_o Man that would be creepy and weird. Friendship to me, is not sexual in any way, shape or form. Friendship actually excludes interactive sexuality 100% for me. My friends are Time Off from fetishland and work. So when you tell me you want to be my friend, you’re telling me (in my own head) that you want nothing to do with me sexually. At all.
But of course I realize that in your own head, things are rather different. In your head it’s anything from ‘Hey I think you’re pretty cool and I’m interested in your opinions on music/sport/politics as well as your skill with kink‘ all the way through to ‘If I make her believe we’re friends, she’ll give me time and kinky attention for free!‘ (Incidentally, I will not. Ever. And you are neither subtle nor original if you attempt this.) But the thing is, there’s a massive grey area where being friendly and being friends can get confused. I’m going to be friendly with my patrons and subs, because I’m running a business here and because they’re generally pretty nice dudes whom I genuinely like. Unless I have an agreed Bitch Dynamic with you, yeah, I’m a friendly girl. That doesn’t mean we’re friends.
And if you’re taking that as a huge insult, think about my first point. What do you think friendship looks like? Now ask yourself again, is friendship what you really want here? It might be, and if it is, that’s ok, but I’m not the right Domme for you. I believe, and I could be wrong, that when you boys ask for or declare friendship with me, or any Pro-Domme, the request really is for a deeper emotional connection. And that is an entirely different thing. A deeper emotional connection with a HypnoDomme is a beautiful and deeply rewarding thing for both parties, it opens up whole new levels of pleasure. But it isn’t friendship. And for me at least, it never can be, if you want to be a part of my kinky universe.
So my darlings, and I say this with the utmost respect and sincerity, please let’s not be friends!